The Road to Happiness

     Yeah so its now 2018, just remembered I made this blog and here I am, so let me give you a quick update. There is no cute boy in my life anymore. I actually don't have any love life. Those words aren't even in my vocabulary right now. "lol" okay that was a little passive aggressive. Anyways... I am currently in my room, binging youtube videos, and wishing I had enough drive to be established by now. I need to lose weight, and like a lot of it at that. I need to get a better job that pays more than 11 an hour and I also  am preparing for a drivers test on Thursday. Right now I am an 18 year old fatty that goes to urban outfitters on her ten and window shops all of the clothes I wish I could fit into. I'm also single Pringle and a hot mess. Like... I am literal guy repellent. I see all these relationships that are so great and these guys are LOVING HARD for their girls. Yes i'm lonely but no I don't wanna rush things . Like would it be nice to have someone to cuddle with and  bring to family functions and spend time with after work and all this great stuff to do like go on these really cheesy awesome dates??  Yes.  But how can I love someone or how can someone love me if I don't even love myself? 

    So heres the thing; we are not going to rely on guys to make us happy anymore. Okay ladies? I know for a fact that I am capable for loving myself first and figuring out who I am so I don't have to have some knight and shining armor come save the day. I am going to lose the weight, develop self love, and be happy before I try a relationship with someone. And who knows? maybe some guy will come into my life one day totally unexpected and make me the most happiest woman on earth. When that day comes, that will be great. But until then, I will not try, but actually do my hardest to be on top off my priorities for myself. Even after he comes if he does, I will continue to make myself happy. 

And thats how to live as a woman.

(I know this sounds so lonely and basic but its how I feel at the moment)

I've Got a Boy Crush

     Is this real? It seems like straight out of movie or song lyrics. I have never felt this way before, ya know? like actually liking someone? Jeez this is scary. I see him and it sparks chills throughout my body and I can't help but smile, hard, like really hard. And it isn't just because he's a cute boy with a nice smile ( don't get me wrong, his smile makes me weak in the knees). It's actually everything about him.
     I love the way thinks. He can act stupid and have fun yet, he's still respectful and caring. I love that he loves all types of music. If we were driving in the car and I put on country, then RnB, and after that, if I put on love songs or rock, he won't care. He will just enjoy it all. Because he doesn't care about what others think and he doesn't care about being "cool". He just loves to enjoy life. We just like to enjoy life. I really do hope one day we can both express our feelings towards one another and just cut the bullshit. But until then, I guess it's just gonna be hard to not show it as much as i really want to.

"Hey!"

"Hi!" "Hello." "What's up?" These are all things that people say to one another when they see someone they know. Me? I say "aloha" or just look at them with a weird funny face. Is that weird? Maybe, maybe not. As long as they say hi or hello back to me, I'm fine.

  I just told you this to justify the facts that I'm not normal. I'm a confused, messed up, loving, sing-all-the-time, laugh at everything type of girl. You are here to just witness all of the mistakes, the jokes, and the fun with me. Thnx for reading! more to come soon. <3